Looking back, I think I remember my first time I witnessed a Mother of the Year Award Nominee. My husband and I were visiting my oldest, dearest friend (we'll call her Marie) who now lived about 4 hours away from us. Marie and Buddy were the first of our friends to have a child. Their son Andy was around 9 weeks old if I remember correctly. What I most vividly remember about the trip...crying, a lot of crying...oh and their little dog barking...a lot of barking! And a story that makes me ROFL and LOL everytime I think about it! It was a weekend my childless self will NEVER forget.
They lived in an area known for producing wine, so of course we went wine tasting (note to readers - we did not go out and get drunk w/ a 9 week baby in tow...we basically went out for 2 one ounce samples of wine...and mom didn't drink!). All 5 us hit our first (and only...read on) vineyard...leaving that barking mutt at home to the relief of our sanity. Don't worry, Marie knows that dog and I have a love/hate relationship. The baby was happy (finally) and we were happy because our wine loving selves had Marie as a built in chauffeur and some peace and quiet! Before we knew it, Josh and I felt like ourselves again, sipping some grape with friends in a quite environment, admiring Marie and Buddy's adorable little boy. But alas, our peaceful get together with old friends was interrupted by a dirty diaper. No big deal...Buddy offered to take Andy to the car to change him. I mean, why bring a diaper bag into a winery right...they aren't likely to have a changing table are they? As Marie, Josh and I caught up and I finished a glass of wine, we began to wonder what was taking Buddy so long to change a diaper.
We decided we better head out to the car to check on them. When we arrived, we could not contain our laughter...and to this day, I feel badly about it! The diaper was DIRTY. He had removed it. He replaced the diaper with a new one. Andy instantly made another DIRTY diaper. He went to replace it again, only the diaper bag was EMPTY. We're in the middle of wine country...there isn't a store for miles...we're at least 30 minutes from their house...Buddy is out there with a naked baby and no diaper and the cell phone wouldn't work to call us inside to tell us what is going on and he's a new dad and doesn't know what to do. I'm LMFAO just thinking about it! (SORRY GUYS...IT WAS FUNNY!)
Marie sort of freaks out, I'm TRYING to contain my laughter, they are frustrated beyond belief, you can see the new parent exhaustion set it at just that moment. The wrap him a blanket, try to secure him as best they can in the car seat and we drive looking for somewhere to buy a diaper. We find a gas station and Buddy comes out with size 3 diapers....they are as big as Andy! Marie is NOT happy. Buddy remains calm. We don't say too much and try to keep straight faces. Just as Marie unwraps Andy to attempt to put a size 3 diaper on a 9 week baby boy...he pees all over her and the car. If only he was a she, it wouldn't have been as funny! *Sorry Marie, I'm LMFAO right now again....
She's had it...just had it...I'm laughing and wanting to cry at the same time...I feel so bad for her...helpless and at the time I had NOT one motherly instinct in my body. She must have felt so alone and exhausted and I felt so bad for her. If I were her, I probably would've been bawling hysterically or running down the road freaking out!
The phone started working, Buddy called and ordered pizza, we picked up beer and the huge tri-tip bbq feast they had planned for us was cancelled in an instant. The ride home, silent.
When she reads this, she'll probably be mad at me for posting it...but I bet it was her first MOTY moment. She's such a wonderful mom, I doubt she's had very many others! It was certainly the first one I witnessed and above ALL else...it has ALWAYS made me anal retentive about having a fully stocked diaper bag at all times!
*Names have been changed to protect the innocent!
This is my favorite post so far.
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